young catron

Work in Progress

2011-06-14T23:54:00.000-07:00

This is what's happening in my yard

2011-06-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

So a few months ago I had an ornery, broody hen. I asked around the hen shop and spoke to the chick-wise IT guy at my work and discovered that one way to break a hen of this sitting-on-unfertilized-eggs-all-day habit would be to stick some baby chicks under her. Apparently a chicken's brain is about the size of a walnut and it turns out it's pretty easy to pull one over on them. So, low-and-behold I now have a yard full of teenage chicks just trying to make their way in the world.

Don't call it a comeback

2011-04-16T01:38:00.000-07:00

I've been here for years.

birthday kitten

2010-04-03T15:20:00.001-07:00

2010-03-30T19:53:00.001-07:00

Kittens are the new owl.

2010-01-25T22:29:00.001-08:00

2010-01-21T18:35:00.001-08:00

Museum owl

2010-01-20T19:15:00.001-08:00

2010-01-20T19:10:00.001-08:00

Safari Owl

2010-01-18T13:19:00.000-08:00

Owl Ball

2010-01-17T19:32:00.001-08:00

40 oz owl

2010-01-16T14:01:00.001-08:00

Dog cone owl

2010-01-15T18:47:00.001-08:00

pbr me owl

2010-01-14T17:25:00.001-08:00

Photobooth Owl

2010-01-13T10:51:00.001-08:00

Chin Yen Owl

2010-01-12T13:10:00.001-08:00

Hospital Owl

2010-01-11T19:57:00.001-08:00

Owl Paper

2010-01-10T12:15:00.001-08:00

Owl Poutine

2010-01-09T11:11:00.001-08:00

Company Owl

2010-01-08T20:44:00.001-08:00

Big City Owl

2010-01-07T16:26:00.001-08:00

Jenga owl

2010-01-06T18:03:00.000-08:00

Dump Stoppers

2010-01-05T11:02:00.001-08:00

Awl

2010-01-04T18:07:00.001-08:00

Owl A Day

2010-01-03T18:57:00.001-08:00

NYE Prediction

2009-12-29T00:05:00.000-08:00

Call me psychic, but I only see this New Year's Eve ending one way.

This cat Neera

2009-12-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

I often wonder what my cat thinks about all day. I've come to the conclusion that she spends 33% of her day thinking about food and all the ways she can trick me into feeding her more of it. Another 33% thinking about birds and what a bitch I am for not letting her go outside to chase them. She probably spends about 4% of the day pooping, either inside the litterbox or near the bathroom door hoping I will step in it in the middle of the night. And I'm pretty convinced she spends the other 30% dreaming about what a badass she is. This photoshop details one such dream wherein she learns how to use a computer and clone her badass self.

iPod friends

2009-12-13T21:00:00.000-08:00

Seeing all these iPod ads has really made me appreciate what diverse, good looking friends I have. Look at these beautiful people! This series was taken on the booze cruise this past summer, so not only are these particular friends really good looking, but they're also really wasted!

Golden Stand-UP

2009-10-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

As you all may already know, I have a real knack for publicly humiliating myslef. For the most part I've been able to confine it to singing off-key karaoke in the basement of the Crow Bar (and my new-found love for Tuesday night Spare Room "saxy-oke") or playing R Kelly covers at parties, but most recently I've stepped up my game and turned to the Portland Comedy Circuit. It may have something to do with reading Steve Martin's autobiography over the summer, but I feel the need to make people laugh (and then stick catheters in them.)
One night I ran into my friend Gabe, and he told me about this bar near his house that hosted Tuesday night open mic stand-up. The bar is called Suki's, and is located under a Travelodge. He had me sold. So weeks went by and I still didn't have enough material. That's when I ran into Elissa. I explained my dilemma and she casually said something about how it's just like when Dorothy did stand up in the Golden Girls. I sped home, YouTubed that shit and the rest is history. So, here it is. If you're familiar with Dorothy's routine, you will notice I fucked up. Well I guess that's why I never made it onto Golden Girls.

Face shake punch

2009-08-05T10:54:00.000-07:00

The Moon

2009-08-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

I saw "Moon" tonight. Not to give away the ending, but it went something like this:

Owl Turkey

2009-06-12T17:45:00.001-07:00

Well, Anna and I made another pinata! Much like the first one, it was a near disaster! We attempted to make an owl, but sadly the only feather colors available were red, brown and orange. But, as Seth so kindly put it, "Only one person called it a turkey. And that person was a pilgrim."

Connect 4 U

2009-06-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

My first year of nursing school is history, and it's all thanks to "Touch Four," the iPhone's version of the classic children's game "Connect Four." Whenever I was overwhelmed, or just too tired to sleep, I'd turn to this little game to ease my mind. It started off innocently enough, but ended with me playing strangers on the Internet! That phase thankfully only lasted a week or so, but I was wise enough to capture screen shots, so I'll always have the memories.
Now, you might guess that I quickly became a master of this game, but you would have guessed wrong.

Ralph Mache-o

2009-04-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

Mike's one year "Potato Champion" anniversary was last night, and to mark the special occasion I helped Anna make a potato pinata! It turned out looking more like a California Raisin, but that didn't stop people from beating the shit out of it! While constructing the pinata Anna came up with the worst joke ever told: What do the Karate Kid and a pinata have in common? They're both made of Ralph Mache-o. (what?)

In other recent news, Ben commissioned me to combine two of the greatest movies ever made into one photoshop series. Here it is: The Neverending Story meets The Endless Summer. I will say now, I was in way over my head on this one as it involved more than just "copy and paste." Thank you photoshop masters for your assistance on this project and to Greg who offered to just do it for me.

Kimono dragon

2009-04-10T11:50:00.001-07:00

Killer Komodos

2009-03-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

CNN is reporting that Komodo dragons are eating people! It is time we, the people fought back. Much as our great grandfathers slayed dragons, so too shall we! But alas, they are an endangered species and have rights. Apparently that includes the right to eat the rare Sienna Chilaquile! Here is a depiction of this atrocity. Don't let this happen to your breakfast! Don your chain mail and join me in the ultimate battle of good vs evil.

The past is the future

2009-03-21T15:34:00.000-07:00

Well, while sitting here bored and sober, I figured I may as well look up my family tree on the Internet. I was astonished to discover this graph. According to this chart 100% of my family were farmers! Hey "general public" suck it!

Tear Water Tea

2009-03-12T20:18:00.001-07:00

This series is a tribute to Amy Dials and the children's book "Owl at Home." In the story, as far as I could tell from David's retelling and a few pages captured on flickr, the owl decides that it's thirsty and really wants some tear water tea. Of course the only way to make tear water tea is to cry into a teapot by recalling sad events. One example was of a wooden spoon that fell behind the oven, out of reach. A sad story indeed. This tale led me to recall a recent night at Chin Yen, a "lounge" attached to a nearby Chinese restaurant. On this particular occasion I captured this rare photo of Amy, looking rather forlorn. David and I of course took it upon ourselves to reenact this painful photo shoot. At the end of the day, we each made our own brand of tea water tea. Amy's tears filled an entire 40 oz! David, the least sad, could only fill the tiniest tea pot in China. I think I filled about half a Cuisinart.

Oh, I almost forgot! Check out this brilliant site for another recent animal photoshop!

Uno

2009-03-06T21:41:00.000-08:00

Oh man, beagles are totally my favorite dog. And Uno, the first beagle to win best in show at the Westminster Kennel Club Show, is a total badass.

Just some creepy dancing babies

2009-03-01T22:56:00.001-08:00

Cats pt 2

2009-03-01T22:04:00.000-08:00

Update: It is true! Cats eat faces! Seen here is Anna's cat, Bible, after she ate part of my face off:

Something Anna Told Me

2009-02-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

I spent a lot of time with Anna last weekend, and she told me some things. One of those things I found particularly disturbing. According to Anna, cats eat their owner's faces when they die. She claimed dogs wouldn't touch you, but a cat, a cat would savor every leathery morsel. I of course called bullshit on this one and said we'd take this up on the internet. Well, I googled "cats eating dead face" and Anna, we'll have to settle this with our fists because there's no definitive answer. However, I have been awoken several times this past week by a gentle gnawing on my cheek bones: a subtle threat? Perhaps.
Here is a commemorative LOLZ I made of my face-eater, Neera.

SURGERY!!!

2009-02-15T21:27:00.000-08:00

Apologies, dear reader, for I have not updated this here little blog in weeks. I truly don't have much to tell you. I've been drinking less, eating less cheese and studying more. This does not make for exciting blogging. What I have been doing, however, is getting some good hospital experiences. This past week, for example, I was lucky enough to witness a Laparoscopic cholecystectomy. I am including a video so you don't feel left out on this experience. If you don't like looking at people's insides, I suggest you don't watch this video. It's pretty graphic. Overall, I had an amazing clinical experience, which left me feeling good about the work I'd done. That hasn't happened in a very long time.
(I removed the video! I don't think anyone really wanted to see it?)
Also, I went to the beach and went gambling. While at Goodwill in Lincoln City I found a picture of a unicorn. A magical beast indeed.

guns, germs and horse races

2009-01-27T16:24:00.000-08:00

My, my, my. I've been pretty busy, as the title of this blog implies, shooting guns, studying pathophysiology and betting on horses.
Oh, we also threw a surprise party for Anna, and boy was she surprised! Then she surprised us by still making us go out to dinner for her birthday.
Thankfully mac and cheese was followed by none other than Stella!!! Have I ever told you how much I love Michael Ian Black? Well, if not, consider this my confession.

In the slight downtime between Anna's extensive birthday celebrations, I took a little "me" time to head down to the races. In my lifetime I'm pretty sure I've only outrun one person: my brother. He was 2, and his legs weren't fully developed. Now, as a young adult, I find myself compensating for my inability to move my own legs in a coordinated fashion by betting on much faster, stronger animals. Much the way my father was disappointed by my ogre-like gait, I too was disappointed by not one, but four "sure bets". One particular horse, Awesome Explosion, Really let me down. Like $4 let me down. It was a tragic day indeed.

Finally, I've been able to make good on one of my New Year's Resolutions. No, no. I haven't been "working out more" or "drinking less." Well, I guess I tried those things once, but what I'm getting at here is guns! Real live American firearms. Weapons, if you will. Matt was in town and happened to witness one of my many "I want to shoot guns" rants and made it happen. We shot his mom's gun! Here's where it gets good: I don't have the pictures of me shooting, so I just decided to photoshop some. I will later post my series "cats with guns," but for now here's some recent works.

Look! It's like the gun is floating in air!

Oh ok, here's one cat with guns.

And this is what I would have looked like had I brought a gun to the horse races. It's probably a good thing I didn't.

Horse Races

2009-01-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

All my dreams come true tomorrow:

nathan loves football

2009-01-02T05:21:00.000-08:00

This is a video of my shirtless friend Nathan. Over the summer he dislocated his shoulder playing football and was rushed to the ER. Upon arrival they asked for his insurance verification, which I found in his bag, along with this: Friday Night Lights, the book.

just some things

2008-12-28T17:59:00.000-08:00

Well, another holiday season has come and gone, and with it some pretty wicked weather. Fortunately I wasn't scheduled to work during "Arctic Blast(?)" and instead partook in some winter activities such as "snow ecstacy" and "partying at Buelahland." Here is a picture I took on my way to the bar one day:

Over the course of the week I spent many hours indoors and had many visitors sleeping on my couch. One of those visitors was a small weiner dog/chihuaha named Autumn. Autumn has no teeth and was an unwelcome guest to my cat, Neera. They would keep me up most nights playing "animal wars." That's where one animal tries to kill the other animal. Thankfully neither was injured or killed. Here is a picture of said dog:

Confronted by the thought of living another day with frozen pipes and dirty clothes I met up with David and Colin and spent hours discussing the possibility of driving to Eugene. After drinking a few beers and consulting the internet (and the internet phone= iPhone) we concluded that we should maybe probably drive to Eugene, but take a different route because I-5 seemed to be closed, or impassable, depending who you asked. Here is a quick recap of that trip to Eugene:
4.5 hours on the road. Listen to a story on "stress" where a man retells getting his leg chopped off by a boat propeller and a woman loses her voice and is only able to make burping sounds, which she describes as "boring." Finally make it to Eugene where I spend the next 3 days eating chilaquiles at Cafe Sienna (or watching other people eat chilaquiles), drinking Super Mugs at Max's, taking last-minute trips to the mall with dad, and bullying David into buying artwork at Goodwill. Here is one such painting:

It is HUGE and totally rad.

Here's what David looked like right before he bought that fine piece of art:

Note the holiday neckbeard, which is also HUGE and totally rad.

Here's what I looked like right before bullying David into buying that sweet-ass painting:

Note: I do not have a holiday neckbeard because I am incabable of growing one, but this year I compensated by growing a holiday double chin, which also helps to keep my neck warm.

Well, I would say that overall is was a very successful holiday season. I ate some meat, ran into some old friends and made some bad decisions. Here's looking to 2009: better bad decisions, less meat and maybe some guns. Happy Holidays.

on owls

2008-12-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

Aw man, are owls ever cool! For instance, one of my nursing cohorts informed me the other day that a barn owl's ears are set asymmetrically to help the owl triangulate sounds, which is how it hunts at night. WHOA! Another totally awesome thing about owls is that they can eat up to 1,000 rodents per year. GROSS! And after they eat them sometimes they vomit them up and young biology students can dissect their pellets. COOL!

As a matter of fact, I happened to be perusing the Urban Outfitters website and came across owl pellets for sale! In the gift section! WEIRD! Apparently for $8 you get a pellet, 2 dissecting sticks and a "bone chart" to help identify the dead rodent. If only I had $8...

On Darkon, Chinese Democracy and Thanksgiving

2008-11-20T21:34:00.001-08:00

So I didn't feel like getting drunk tonight and instead chose to watch Darkon, a documentary about people with low self esteem who choose to partake in medieval role playing as a means of compensating for their social shortcomings. It made me glad that my self esteem is not so low as to dress up in chain mail and stage fake battles.

Another exciting thing I did today was listen to the new Guns N' Roses album, Chinese Democracy. It's bad. I only listened to two songs then had to take a nap. It took so long for Axl to get his shit together that Dr. Pepper promised to give everyone in America a free can of DP if the album was released by the end of 2008. Fuck yeah!

So over the past few days I've received about 100 text messages from my brother as to Thanksgiving plans including one yesterday that read, "You are ruining Thanksgiving :(" The most recent says he got us reservations at a buffet downtown. Buffets ruin Thanksgiving, not Julia.

Four eyes

2008-11-12T12:55:00.000-08:00

So I got some new glasses in the mail today. They were only $15! That might explain why I have a pounding headache and want to vomit. It might also have something to do with this box I had to fill out which read, "It is very important that you obtain this measurement. Most people are 62, but don't guess!" C'mon, like I'm going to measure the distance between my pupils, of course I entered "62" who wouldn't? Well, now I'm just going to have to suffer constant vertigo. There are worst things, I suppose.

holiday!

2008-11-03T17:07:00.000-08:00

Well, Halloween is over. Here is what it looked like:

I know, unbeelievable, right.

Moving on to the next holiday, election day is tomorrow. So I made these:

No, this photo was not taken from a Martha Stewart magazine. Really, I made them myself! One of them has a candle in it because it's Alberta's birthday today. I thought I'd bee nice and give her an election cupcake a day early. I might even tell her it's a birthday cupcake. She probably won't know the difference.

Quick recap

2008-10-25T16:33:00.000-07:00

I made it out the Haunted Corn Maize again this year. And although not as frightening as in years past, it still scared the beejeebers out of SOME of us. The best part was getting the heck out of there and making our way to the the Lighthouse Inn.

All good corn mazes end at the Lighthouse:

At some point in the night Erin got a hold of a teeny pumpkin, gutted it and brought it to the bartender. Here is the conversation that followed:

Erin: Can I get a shot of whiskey in my pumpkin?

Bartender: Hell Yeah I'll pour whiskey into your pumpkin!

It looked something like this.

In other news, I voted today! My ballot looked something like this:

Yes √

Obama √

No √

Yes √

Well, something like that anyway.

One last announcement: I think we should all go to this: SHINING PARTY AT TIMBERLINE LODGE !!!

No movie to date has caused me more nightmares than the Shining did. Seriously. Sometimes I see Jack Nicholson sitting courtside at a Lakers game and I cry a little.

Hmm...

2008-10-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

I am pooped!

love,

julia

Things of interest this week

2008-10-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

Did you watch the debate yesterday? I sure did and I learned a lot. Here's a picture of Joe Plumber, McCain's new pet. As you can see he is bald, but under McCain's health plan he will have $5000 to buy hair, which will give him the confidence he needs to finally start his own plumbing business. McCain, you win!
Oh, by the way I feel much better, thanks for asking. Your hundreds of get well cards and flowers have lifted my spirits and cured me. My good health has enabled me to partake in one of my favorite activities: drinking at bars. As most of you know my "going to school and getting up early" has really cut into my drinking at bar time. However, I was able to share this precious time with my friends Anna and David the other night. While at the bar we opened up an anatomy book tucked away on the "library" shelf (along with Hornitos-brand dominos) and found something similar to this:

The sensory homunculus. In the field of neurology, he is apparently known as 'the little man inside the brain.' He reflects the relative space human body parts occupy on the somatosensory cortex and the motor cortex. The lips, hands, feet and sex organs have more sensory neurons than any other parts of the body, so 'the little man inside the brain' has correspondingly distortedly large lips, hands, feet and genitals, so says Wikipedia. Now we know!

Well, if this actually gets published it will be an act of God, as I've been having some difficulties with my cable modem. Here is a graph to illustrate DSL users vs Cable Modem users. Interesting! Probably even more interesting is the graph that this reminded me of. Please see upper right corner... As Biggie said, more money, more problems. Remember that, Joe Plumber.

SICK!

2008-10-13T14:12:00.000-07:00

Somehow between yesterday and today I managed to get sick. I shoulda seen it coming: hazy thoughts, sleepy eyes, non-sensical mumblings. I'm pretty sure a tv commercial once told me that drinking tomato juice was a great way to get your daily servings of vegetables, but not even bloody marys could save me from this impending doom. I've since researched the medicinal benefits of whiskey and am pleased to report that when combined with hot water, lemon and honey it may be used to effectively treat the common cold. Or at least get you drunk enough to forget you're sick. Here's my cat, Neera, after drinking two such hot toddys. She doesn't even know she should feel bad.

blog log blog

2008-10-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

I caved. This is my blog.

First off: It's racquetball season! For anyone interested please contact either Ben Hubbird or myself for more information. We are probably going to get a membership at a fancy club that has weight machines and treadmills. Take that economy!

Moving on, the Mighty Oregon Ducks defeated the meek UCLA Bruins 31-24. Joe Montana was at the game too. I mean someone told me that. I didn't actually see him, but I'm sure he was probably looking for me. The highlight of the game came when two clearly drunk fans got in a brawl and fell over the side onto the field behind the UCLA bench. While trainers were attending to a possibly-paralyzed Bruin wide-receiver on the field, EMTs were strapping one of the wasted/broken fans onto a stretcher, further delaying the game. Needless to say, these events caused the 4th quarter to go on for many, many hours and I didn't get home until nearly 3am. Overall, it was a good night.

What else has been "going on" you ask? School. Lots and lots of school and clinical work. I'll save that for another time, though. I have a lot to say on the topic.

Oh, politics! Well, I can now sleep at night because I've done my part. That's right, I bought an Obama t-shirt from a nice young lady outside of Autzen Stadium yesterday. It has the Oregon "O" with "bama" written under it. Clever. She wanted $15, but I only had $10. She agreed! What a deal! Now I can show my support for the U of O and the presidential candidate Barack Obama on one shirt! Remember to vote!

Why should you vote? Oh, I know because we're fucked! For example, little old me, with my chronic sinusitis and weird eye condition and 7 STDs got denied health care coverage for having a "pre-existing condition". This particular health care plan, PROVIDENCE, can eat a dick. And no, I don't have "7" STDs. What I do have, however, is a deep hatred for the way medical insurance companies are run in America. This may relate to the fact that it has been part of my job for the past few years to call insurance companies and try to get certain services covered for patients. These "services" range from MRIs to physical therapy to prescription medications. ESSENTIAL services. Unfortunately, most insurance companies require authorizations for many of these services, therefore wasting valuable time of health care professionals and patients. So you can see why I'd be so upset to find out that when I quit my job and lost my benefits I found myself paying more than my car payment every month on a health insurance plan that I rarely use. All because no other insurance plan will cover me. BOOOOOOOH!

Speaking of "Boo" it's almost Halloween! The number one contender for a costume this year is a play on the rubik's cube idea I had a few years ago. It was easy enough to make: cardboard box and construction paper. This year, however, I have noticed a trend with online costumes. Sexy costumes! Who wouldn't want to be a "sexy" nurse ( I mean, what do you think all this school is for?) or a "sexy" maid or even a "sexy" police woman? Well, in a flash of brilliance I decided to be a "sexy" rubik's cube! It'll just have a top and three sides, leaving little to the imagination *wink*wink. However, this idea may have to be put on the shelf seeing as a bee costume has been ordered on my bee-half. Feel free to use my idea. It's a really good one.

Well, that's all for now. Back to homework and hot toddy's and then to Anna's house to watch Dexter tonight. Don't worry, I'll surely blog about all his murderous antics. That Dexter!